Transformers Huminated: Mission Accomplished
by TheWeasel027
Summary: The Elite Guard decide that it's finally time to take the Earth Autobots back to Cybertron. Though they remain completely unaware of the increased Decepticon activity right under their very noses. Meanwhile, the Autobots also have to find Sari a home.
1. Time to Go

_"Ironhide to Ultra Magnus!"_ Ironhide alerted, _"We are under attack by Decepticons! They came outta nowhere! They already destroyed one of the space bridges! Requesting immediate backup!"_ An explosion flashed on the screen then all was static. Ultra Magnus clicked off the communication.

"We're getting reports of Decepticon uprisings like this from all along the rim of the galaxy," Ultra Magnus said.

"Sounds like the Cons are getting wind that their leader ain't as dead and gone as they thought he was," Jazz replied.

"Wonder where they got that idea," Sentinel looked at Optimus.

"That doesn't matter," Ultra Magnus said, "The point is that we're needed elsewhere. Optimus Prime, prepare your crew for departure in twelve hours."

"Uh, but sir, what about the Decepticons on this planet?" Optimus asked.

"Sentinel Prime informs me there are no Decepticons on this planet."

"With all due respect—"

"You'll get to tell your side of the story back at a public inquiry at Cybertron Command!" Sentinel interrupted.

"You mean a court marshal."

"More like an opportunity to set the record straight," Ultra Magnus said, "If word gets out that the AllSpark is gone and Megatron is alive, it will cause panic amongst the Autobots and embolden the enemy."

"But the _truth_ is—" Optimus began.

"It's our _duty_ to quash these rumors once and for all! Understood?"

"Yes, sir…understood…" Optimus saluted half-heartedly.

*******************************************************************

"First I lose my dad, then my home, and now you guys?" Sari exasperated.

"I'm afraid orders are orders," Optimus sighed.

"Well they're _stupid_ orders!"

"Listen up _small-fry_," Sentinel Prime walked into the Autobot base with a frown on his face, "Autobots are _not_ earthling _babysitters_. The sooner you lowlifes learn that the better."

"They aren't lowlifes! They're my friends! And I need them!" Sari ran off with tears in her eyes.

"Sari wait!" Bumblebee called.

"This isn't easy for her Bumblebee. Give her time," Optimus suggested.

"Unfortunately 'time' isn't something you all have. As of now, you're all vital components in the war against the Decepticons," Sentinel regretfully said. The Autobots all stood at attention, saluted, and answered, "Yes sir."

"Now that we don't have the AllSpark anymore, our space bridges are our only advantage. And we need you repair-grunts to keep em up and running," Sentinel continued. He moved to Optimus and whispered in his ear, "And Optimus? A little friendly advice: do what Ultra Magnus wants."

"You mean lie?" Optimus frowned.

"Cut the high-and-mighty routine for once in your life. Look, I have some pull with Cybertron command. If you just keep quiet about Megatron and the AllSpark and take the fall for leading your crew awol, I could getcha reinstated in the Elite Guard."

"That sounds a lot like a bribe."

"Call it a favor for not mentioning my little _incident_ with the Headmaster."

"Yeah, well unlike _you_ Sentinel, I don't think that saving myself isn't more important than protecting the truth." Optimus shrugged off Sentinel then walked away.

"Then you leave me no choice. Optimus Prime I am placing you under protective custody until our departure from Earth!"

Optimus stopped in his tracks, "What?! You can't be serious."

"I'm not gonna have to use the stasis cuffs on ya am I Optimus?" Sentinel smiled and swung a stasis cuff on his finger.

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"Gah!" Starscream burst out of a pile of garbage, "You _dare_ strike me down Megatron?! After all my years of loyal—Hey, wait. Where is everybody? How did I get here?" Starscream eyed his surroundings. He was on a garbage scow floating down a river. "I'm not picking up any Decepticon comlink signals. Not even my own! I'm too young to be dead! Oh-okay. This obviously isn't the Well of All Sparks. So I can't be _that_ dead. But, I am still on this pathetic _primitive_ planet! AND IT SMELLS WORSE THAN BEFORE!" He sniffed his jacket. "Blech! No, I think it's just me. I swear from here to Cybertron that I will _destroy_ YOU for this! MEGATRON!" Starscream jumped out of the garbage, plucked an old banana peel off his shoulder then flew away.

****************************************************************

"Fascinating," Blitzwing admired, "You are standing right in front of me, yet I cannot pick up your comlink."

"Now, we can move about freely and those accursed Autobots won't even know we're there," Lugnut said.

"Impressive work Professor Sumdac."

"Your signal dampeners function well, but now I have a new project for you," Megatron said, "A subspace communicator that will allow me to contact my Decepticon forces at the rim of the galaxy."

"I am afraid that is impossible," Sumdac said.

"I will decide what is possible! And I won't have Decepticons blowing up space bridges whenever they feel like it! We'll need a coordinated effort to defeat the Autobots, not random acts of sabotage."

"But subspace communications would require some sort of tachyon energy. No earthly scientist has gone any further than the development stage yet."

"Then it is fortunate we don't need to rely on the feeble achievements of mere earthlings isn't it? The Elite Guard possess a tachyon transmitter aboard their ship. All we have to is steal it."


	2. Starscream's Alive

"But we're her family," Bumblebee said, "We can't just abandon her! Who's gonna take care of her when we're gone?"

"We need someone we can trust," Ratchet said.

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"Ab-so-lutely NOT!" Fanzone yelled for the neighborhood to hear.

"Come on captain. She's a good kid," Bumblebee pleaded.

"Ya won't even know she's around," Bulkhead smiled.

"Why _me_?!" Fanzone exclaimed.

"You're _tops_ on the list of earthlings we know personally," Bumblebee grinned.

"Though it _is_ a short list," Bulkhead tapped his chin.

"And it _does_ include Prometheus Black and Nanosec," Prowl said.

"Yeah but still! You're _number_ one!" Bumblebee flashed a thumbs-up, wink, and a grin.

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"Face it Optimus," Sentinel said, "This deal is the only way you're ever gonna get your career back on track. And rid yourself of the stench of those flunky losers you've been commanding."

"What about the stench of the lies you're asking me to tell?" Optimus frowned.

"NO ONE'S ASKING YOU TO LIE!" Sentinel spat. Ultra Magnus looked at him then turned back to the computer. "Just confirm what our scanners have been telling us all along. There are no Decepticons on Earth."

*********************************************************************

Lugnut burst out of the ground inside the shield. He stepped out of the tunnel followed by Blitzwing. They snuck towards the Elite Guard ship. Blitzwing jumped up, grabbed a small device on the ship's hull, and yanked it off.

"The tachyon transmitter," Lugnut breathed.

"You think I don't know what a tachyon transmitter looks like?!" Blitzwing barked.

"Just GO!" Lugnut kicked Blitzwing into the hole then jumped in after him.

"Last one in's an unstable Energon cube!" Blitzwing laughed. They both flew out of the hole and into the sky. Starscream appeared from behind a blimp and followed them.

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"Oh noble master. Our mission was victorious!" Lugnut kneeled and presented Megatron with the transmitter.

"Aah. If it isn't my old pal Megatron," a voice echoed through the mines, "And by 'old pal', I mean the piece of _scum_ who tried to incinerate me INTO OBLIVION!" Starscream stepped from the shadows.

"Starscream. You're alive," Megatron said.

"What's the matter? You look like you've seen a _ghost_," Starscream smirked, "Well, maybe you have!" Starscream fired his null blasters, but Megatron grabbed his sword, jumped up, and slashed Starscream to the ground.

"Is that the best you could do Starscream?! And to think you actually _believed_ you could take over as leader of the Decepticons. You couldn't lead a parade," Megatron insulted. He aimed his cannon at Starscream's face and fired at point-blank. Megatron walked away from Starscream's body. "Make sure he's dead _this_ time." Lugnut nodded. He used his cybernetic eye to scan Starscream's vitals.

"His heart has stopped. Starscream is no more," Lugnut reported.

"And just to be _sure_," Megatron twirled his sword then stabbed Starscream through the heart. "Now. Dump that piece of traitorous garbage where it belongs! His stench is starting to spread."

******************************************************************

Blitzwing and Lugnut carried Starscream's corpse to the ledge, swung him twice, and then let him plummet into the stream below. They took one last look then left. Back at the bottom of the stream, Starscream jumped awake.

"Prepare to face the wrath of—! Huh? What am I doing down here? And why is there a hole in my chest? Is that—?! Oh no. maybe I really _am_ a ghost!" Starscream panicked, "Or maybe…something else is keeping me alive." He looked at his reflection in the river. And saw a glowing blue shard in his forehead. "A piece of the AllSpark. Indestructible. Inextinguishable. Which makes little old Starscream…im_mortal_." Starscream stood up and shouted to the sky. "Prepare yourself Megatron you pompous slag! For my vengeance will be _swift_ and PAINFUL!"

*******************************************************************

Megatron sat in his throne, activated the tachyon transmitter and began his speech to every Decepticon colony, "Fellow Decepticons, take heed! Your leader Megatron still lives! Though we remain dispersed throughout the far reaches of the galaxy, exiled from our true home, we are all still Decepticons! United by a common purpose."

********************************************************************

Starscream burst from the ceiling and fired at Megatron. His blasts merely bounced off Megatron's armor. Megatron grabbed his twin swords, ran towards Starscream, and slashed him into three pieces.

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"The time has come for us to put aside our differences and act as one under my _undisputed_ leadership. Only then can we cast off the _shackles_ of Autobots oppression!"

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Megatron stood in the darkness. Thinking of his next move. Starscream snuck out of the shadows, and aimed his null blaster. But Megatron turned around, and blasted Starscream in the face.

*********************************************************************

"Working together, we can raise up our glorious empire once more. And crush _all_ who stand in our way!"

*********************************************************************

Megatron stared at the city of Detroit from the highest ledge. The moonlight showered all of the land in a deep night-blue. Megatron became aware of the traitor standing behind him. He caught the bomb Starscream threw and tossed it back at his feet. Starscream danced around it for a few seconds until it blasted him away.

********************************************************************

Starscream was once again landed in the river he had been tossed in several times before. As if on a timer, he jumped up and aimed his blaster. Then realized he was once again sitting in a river.

"Uhh, I think…I need…another approach," Starscream admitted, "A way to _lure_ that egotistical trash out into the open. Catching him off guard! Wah! Oh!" Suddenly his AllSpark fragment glowed then sparked. It pointed to a nearby dump truck. Starscream curiously walked to the truck.

"Ooh, another AllSpark fragment?" He plucked the fragment out of the truck's side. "Perhaps _this_ will do the trick."


	3. Here to Stay

"Optimus Prime," Ultra Magnus said, "Sentinel Prime has informed me about your reluctance to cooperate. I _strongly_ urge you to reconsider."

"Commander," Jazz interrupted, "the ship's scanners are pickin up a major spike in AllSpark energy."

"Probably another one of those fragments," Sentinel suggested, "I'll go check it out."

"Negative. Stay here and watch Optimus," Magnus ordered, "Jazz and I will report back with our findings." Jazz nodded then followed him out of the bridge.

"Jazz get's all the action, and I'm stuck here playing nurse mate with an insubordinate washout," Sentinel complained. Optimus ignored him and typed on the computer. He zoomed the camera on a train which was the source of the AllSpark energy.

"That's odd," he said, "Our sensors didn't pick up any surges in energy the last time an AllSpark turned up. Only Sari's key was able to detect it. It's almost as if someone _wants_ us to find it. Run a thermal scan on that cloud bank." The scan revealed a red dot flying through the blue clouds. He zoomed on it and recognized the shape. "Starscream! Sentinel you have to stop them! They're walking right into a Decepticon ambush!"

"When are you gonna get it through your thick skull? There are no Decepticons on this planet. So keep your mouth shut or I'll do it for you," Sentinel brandished a stasis cuff. Then, Optimus got an idea.

"I'd like to see you try ya worthless pile of trash!"

"THAT'S IT!" Sentinel charged. Optimus grabbed him and flipped him head-over-heels causing Sentinel to scream. He landed with a thud. He got up then went stiff and collapsed. He then realized he was wearing stasis cuffs. "You put me in stasis lock?!"

"Well someone's gotta stop them from making a deadly mistake," Optimus ran out of the bridge.

"When I get through with you Optimus, YOU'LL BE CLEANING OUT SEWAGE FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY!"

*****************************************************************

"How do you feel about bed times?" Sari asked.

"What?" Fanzone replied.

"Cuz I'm not _real_ big on em. In fact, I think I should get to stay up as late as I want. I also need my own phone. Oh yeah, and we should talk about my allowance, cuz I'm gonna need a big one."

Just then, Fanzone's swing snapped causing him to hit the ground with a loud thud. "This is why I _hate_ kids."

"_Autobots!"_ Optimus called the Autobots on the comlink, _"We need to mobilize immediately! The Elite Guard is walking into a Decepticon trap!"_

"Why is this _our_ problem?" Bumblebee asked, "The Elite Guard have done nothing but burst our bubble since they got here."

"_Doing what's right is more important than our personal feelings right now."_

"Prime's right. Let's move it!" Ratchet proclaimed. The Autobots ran onto the Auto-Rover and drove away.

"Hey, where're they going?" Sari asked.

"No idea," Fanzone got back up, "But I'm _not_ gonna let them wreck my city again!"

*******************************************************************

The Auto-Rover drove along the highway and intercepted Optimus who was riding one of the Elite Guard's motorcycles.

"_The Elite Guard's not responding to any of my emergency calls,"_ Optimus told them, _"We'll have to cut across town and head em off."_ He led them off an exit while Fanzone's car followed close behind.

*******************************************************************

"It won't be long until Megatron arrives to get his _greasy_ little hands on the AllSpark fragment," Starscream grinned, "Too bad I rigged it to blow up in his face and destroy half this city with it!" Unbeknownst to Starscream, Megatron and Blitzwing flew up behind him.

"The spike in AllSpark energy seems to be originating from that train," Megatron said.

"It's fortunate we picked up that signal so easily," Blitzwing said.

"Perhaps a bit too fortunate."

"A trap? Laid by the Autobots?" Blitzwing eyed the blue and white Auto-Rover and motorcycle below.

"Or by another Decepticon. An extremely persistent Decepticon who refuses to stay dead!"

******************************************************************

"That AllSpark fragment is going to overload the vehicle's engine! We must remove it before the entire thing explodes!" Ultra Magnus alerted Jazz. The people on board banged on the window in a panic.

"Stay cool earthies! We got it under control!" Jazz pulled the motorcycle closer to the train, activated its autopilot, stood on the cycle, and then jumped off and onto the train. He smacked the AllSpark fragment with his energy nunchuck but it didn't falter. Ultra Magnus soon jumped onto the train.

"Jazz! Stand back!" Magnus raised his hammer, and tried to smack the fragment but still to no avail.

*****************************************************************

"The Autobot Elite Guard?" Starscream gasped, "This day just gets better and better. With one blow I will destroy all my enemies at once!"

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"It's no good commander!" Jazz exclaimed, "That SmallSpark doesn't wanna budge!" Before they could try again, the fragment released an energy surge that blew the two off the train. Luckily they both tucked and rolled and survived with not much more than a great deal of pain, a friction burn, and some bruises. Just then, the earthbound Autobots and Fanzone's car arrived. They stopped to see if Jazz and Magnus were okay.

****************************************************************

"More Autobots? But where is Megatron?!" Starscream whined.

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"Prowl go take Jazz's motorcycle and uncouple the passenger cars," Optimus ordered, "We need to get the citizens away from danger!" Prowl nodded. Jazz's motorcycle arrived. Prowl got on and sped off. "Bumblebee, you and Sari take mine. Try to use the key to pull out that AllSpark fragment!"

"On it!" Sari and Bumblebee said at once. Bumblebee silently cheered to himself, got on the motorcycle with Sari behind him and sped off.

"The rest of us will try to slow the engine down!" Optimus told everyone else.

*****************************************************************

"Hang on!" Bumblebee pulled the cycle onto a high-rise highway. He ran the cycle off the ledge jumped off, with Sari squeezing onto him, and landed on the train while the cycle bounced on the road. "Ratchet'll never shut up if he hears about this. Now hurry!" Sari nodded then ran to the front of the train. She knelt down and held her key above the large fragment which started to shake.

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Prowl caught up to the front of the train, activated its autopilot, then jumped off and onto the train. He pulled out his shuriken then slashed at the train car binds. The passenger cars then split from the leading car.

"Bumblebee! Sari! Get off! The engine's going to blow!" he warned.

******************************************************************

"Just a little bit more," Sari said. The fragment shook one more time then floated into Sari's hand. "Got it!"

"BUT WE'RE STILL GONNA CRASH!" Bumblebee panicked when he saw upcoming train station which was blocked off. The two screamed and waited for the crash. Bumblebee grabbed Sari and held on tight. They both closed their eyes and waited for their doom. Before they could crash, the train slowed to a stop. They opened their eyes. Ratchet's magnetic field held the train in the front while Bulkhead and Prime's grapplers held the train in the back.

"Don't be so negative," Bulkhead grinned.

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"NO! This can't be happening!" Starscream exclaimed. He then flew away.

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"Now that's what I call teamwork!" Bumblebee smiled. He and Sari jumped off the train.

"Heh, and nothing got blown up!" Fanzone cheered, "Now _there's_ a first."

"Commander," Optimus said to Ultra Magnus when he and Jazz arrived, "The AllSpark fragment has been safely recovered." He handed Magnus the fragment.

"_What_ are you doing here Optimus Prime?" Magnus angrily asked.

"Sir, I had reason to believe this was a Decepticon trap and felt like it was my duty to warn you."

"Just one problem with that story: WHERE ARE THE DECEPTICONS?!"

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"Agh! This day couldn't _possibly_ get any worse!" Starscream screamed. Just then, Megatron and Blitzwing dropped down from a cloud. "I stand corrected…" Starscream made a u-turn and flew as fast as he could.

"STARSCREEEEAAM!!!" Megatron angrily flew after Starscream followed by Blitzwing.

"Sorry! You must have me confused with someone else!"

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"Optimus Prime you are under arrest for assaulting an Elite guard officer!" Sentinel arrived on one of the motorcycles, "Add that to the other charges against you and you can just kiss your career goodbye. Now whatcha gotta say for yourself?"

"Incoming!" Optimus pointed to an object falling from the sky. Starscream crashed into the ground leaving a crater.

"What is that thing?!" Sentinel hid behind Optimus.

"Oh that's right. You haven't seen one up close. It's called a 'Decepticon.'"

"Oh no not again!" Starscream rose from the crater.

"Everyone stand back!" Magnus warned the others. Starscream pointed a null blaster at his face and shot Magnus into the train station wall causing him to drop the AllSpark fragment.

"At least this won't be a _total_ loss," Starscream sneered and picked up the fragment then walked away. Bulkhead charged and launched his wrecking ball. He hit Starscream square on the back of the head knocking him down. Starscream then got up and continued walking. Ratchet and Bumblebee fired an electromagnetic pulse at Starscream causing an explosion. When the smoke cleared, Starscream stood there. He fired at Bulkhead, Bumblebee, and Ratchet knocking them down.

"Ultra Magnus is down and the Decepticon's getting away! What's our next move Sentinel?!" Jazz exclaimed.

"Er…right. Okay uh," Sentinel blathered.

"Ratchet, you and Sari take care of Ultra Magnus," Optimus told them, "Bumblebee, Prowl, Bulkhead and Fanzone, evacuate the earthlings from the area. Sentinel and Jazz, we'll take down Starscream."

"Stand down Optimus! You've got no right to assume command!"

"Yeah? Well someone has to!"

"Hey!" Jazz pushed Optimus and Sentinel apart, "How bout we settle the whole 'head honcho' deal later? Right now, we gotta stop fightin' each other and start fightin' the bad guy. Dig?"

"Fine," Optimus and Sentinel said at once. The three Autobots ran to Starscream who heard them coming and fired at them. Sentinel activated his shield and covered them. Jazz leapt from behind it and threw his energy nunchuck which merely bounced off Starscream's shoulder.

"Don't waste my time," Starscream sighed and shot down Jazz then continued shooting Sentinel's shield. Optimus grabbed a stasis cuff off Sentinel's belt.

"Keep him distracted!" Optimus told him. He darted from behind the shield. Starscream fired an onslaught of null blasts at Sentinel's shield as he walked closer. The blasts were starting to push Sentinel backward. Starscream then changed the blasts into a continuous stream of null energy.

"How long…do you think you can keep this up Autobot?" Starscream sneered.

"Long enough for me to do this!" Optimus jumped over Starscream's head and slapped on a pair of stasis cuffs. Starscream went rigid and fell to the ground.

"Yeesh Optimus," Sentinel breathed and deactivated his shield, "Think you coulda drawn that one out any longer?"

"You're welcome Sentinel."

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The Autobots carried Starscream aboard the Elite Guard's ship with a mouth clamp attached to his jaw.

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"Well Optimus Prime, it would appear you were right about the Decepticons," Ultra Magnus admitted.

"But sir that doesn't change the fact that he disobeyed a direct order!" Sentinel reminded.

"That may be true. But there are times when following your gut are more important than acting by the book. Wouldn't you agree Optimus Prime?" Optimus merely smiled. "Given the recent events, I've decided to let you and your crew remain here on earth to collect more AllSpark fragments. And keep them out of the hands of any Decepticons that may still remain on this planet. I think you may need a few more stasis cuffs for the job."

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Back at the Autobot base, Optimus placed their newest fragment into the AllSpark's container which now held four fragments. Meanwhile, the others brought in a box bearing the Elite Guard's colors. They opened it up to see fifteen more stasis cuffs.

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The next day, the earthbound Autobots watched the Elite Guard's ship fly away back to Cybertron.

"You guys are staying on Earth? How great is that?!" Sari exclaimed, "Don't worry Captain Fanzone. We can still hang out."

"Oh great. I'll clear my calendar," Fanzone said sarcastically.

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"Send out a message to our double agent on Cybertron," Megatron said, "Tell him that communications with our rebel forces has been restored. And the Autobot's space bridge technology is within my grasp. The uprisings on the edge of the galaxy will continue to draw the Autobot forces away from Cybertron. Leaving it virtually defenseless. And once my space bridge is operational, I will conquer a weakened Cybertron from within."


End file.
